Pointless
by HamClover
Summary: Dexter and Howdy think they have comitted a crime, so they are on the run. They get into all sorts of situations, but is it all worth it? Read on!
1. Take The Blame!

Pointless  
  
By HamClover  
  
12/19/03  
  
Yes! I just got out of school for Christmas break! Even though I'm writing this fic right now, it'll be published sometime in 2004. I plan to publish this baby all at one time, so you don't have to wait for me to add chapter after chapter. Just a heads up, this fic is slightly shorter than all my other fics, but it'll still make you smile! Enjoy!  
  
_-_-_-_  
  
Chapter 1- Take The Blame!  
  
Dexter was the first to point a finger.  
  
"You KILLED it!" He shouted to his friend, Howdy.  
  
"No I didn't.why would I.. YOU DID!" Howdy shot back.  
  
In front of the 2 hamsters stood 1 of the chicky-chickys; dead, or so they thought.  
  
"It was obviously your fault. You pushed the chicky-chicky over the edge." Dexter stated.  
  
"Only 'cause you pushed ME into the little feller!" Howdy whined.  
  
"Puh, no."  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
"I said, no."  
  
"Yer 'lyin."  
  
"Why would I?"  
  
"Cus."  
  
"Humph!"  
  
There was a silence as Dexter and Howdy gawked at the "dead" chicky-chicky. They thought they had killed the poor thing. They were wandering around in Charlotte's chicken farm, when, of course, another argument over Pashmina broke out. Then that little chicky-chicky came up and watched them squabble over their crush. That's when Dexter shoved Howdy into the chicky-chicky, and that's when the tiny chunk of poultry flew over the edge, getting knocked out when he landed.  
  
"Listen Dex, this little feller here, is KFC, and it's all yer fault! ADMIT IT!" Howdy shouted, getting nowhere in this argument.  
  
"Well, if I killed the chicken..then why did you push it over the edge?" Dexter retorted.  
  
"I DID NOT!"  
  
"Heh, did too!"  
  
"Nuh-uh!"  
  
"Yea-huh!"  
  
The 2 very upset ham-hams glared at each other, not blinking until their eyes watered. That's when they realized it.  
  
"Uh, Howdy, since, well, erm. WE, killed this chicken, what if someone sees us.?" Dexter asked, suddenly uncomfortable.  
  
Howdy became uneasy also.  
  
"Hum, I dunno, well, I guess you can take the blame-"  
  
"AHEM!"  
  
".Oh, I mean WE can take the blame."  
  
"BUT I DON'T WANT TO GO TO JAIL!"  
  
"Yea, what would meh precious Pashy think 'bout all this-"  
  
Dexter sighs. "Let's not start this again,"  
  
"Humph. Fine."  
  
Dexter sighed again and stepped forward.  
  
"You have to SWEAR not to tell a soul about this, got it?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
So Dexter and Howdy shook paws on it. That was their first mistake.  
  
_-_-_-_  
  
(Pretty please with a cherry on top send a review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) 


	2. NOT The Master Of Disguise!

Pointless By...HamClover  
  
12/21/03  
  
Hi! Hi! Here is chapter 2! Enjoy!  
  
_-_-_-_  
  
Chapter 2- Not the Master Of Disguise  
  
Dexter and Howdy were running like maniacs downtown.  
  
"What if our owners get all freaked out???" Howdy asked, panting.  
  
"I don't know!" Dexter snapped. "Right now, I just don't want to be chicken food! .or the hamster version of O.J. Simpson."  
  
"Wuh?"  
  
"..nothing."  
  
The 2 hamsters stopped in front of a mall.  
  
"Perhaps we should hide in here, none of the ham-hams or chicky-chikcys go in here." Dexter stated.  
  
Howdy hesitated. "Uh, sure." He said.  
  
They went into the mall assuming they were the only rodents (or possessed baby chickens) present. Since it was around Christmas time, the mall was decorated for spread the holiday cheer. Dozens and dozens of children waited in line to sit on Santa's lap. Dexter and Howdy could hear one kid babbling about how she wanted a hippopotamus for Christmas.  
  
"Huh, huh!" Howdy laughed. "This place has more decorations than *Bronners!" (* Just a side note, Bronners is this HUGE Christmas store in Frankenmuth, Michigan. I've been there a few times, I live about and hour away from there)  
  
Suddenly, Dexter stopped dead, causing Howdy to crash into him.  
  
"Now what is goin' on!?" Howdy shrieked.  
  
"Look!" Dexter snapped. He pointed his finger over to a small hall. (hey hat rhymes!) This was the "hamster" part of the mall. Humans didn't know anything about it. It was hidden. It was also full of holiday cheer. A hamster dressed as Santa Claus was walking away, most likely going off to take a break. But what had caught Dexter's attention was that Pepper and Oxnard were there!  
  
"Oh shit." Howdy muttered.  
  
Dexter kicked him.  
  
"Ow!"  
  
"Don't swear!"  
  
"Geez."  
  
"See, Pepper and Oxnard are there. We have to allude them in some way!" Dexter whispered.  
  
Howdy noticed the Santa suit laying in a corner.  
  
"Look!" He shouted, giving Dexter a sly look.  
  
Dexter paused. "Oh, no! I AM NOT going to wear that stupid thing!"  
  
"Oh yes you are!"  
  
So, a few minutes later, Dexter was sitting in a big red chair, in a Santa suit. Howdy stood next to him wearing a reindeer suit, fully equipped with a red blinking light bulb nose.  
  
"Heh, now don't think you look silly, just look at meh!" Howdy whined.  
  
"Shush! Here comes a kid!" Dexter said.  
  
A young hamster skipped up and leaped into Dexter's lap.  
  
"Ooph!" Dexter moaned.  
  
"HI!" the kid shouted.  
  
"Uh, hi."  
  
"Are you Santa???"  
  
"Yes, yes I am." Dexter lied.  
  
"Then you must know what I want for Christmas!"  
  
"..Oh I'm very sorry, I must have, uh, forgot!"  
  
"Geez! Old people sure are forgetful!"  
  
Dexter gave Howdy, who was holding back a laugh, a weird look.  
  
"This is stupid!" he whispered.  
  
"Heh! I think we finally found the perfect job for yeh!" Howdy laughed.  
  
Dexter glared at him and returned his look to the kid.  
  
"OKAY! WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I WANT!" The kid screamed, not taking any caution as to how much noise he was making.  
  
"Okay.." Dexter said, about to lose his patience. "What is it you want.?"  
  
"A BB GUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" the kid leapt off Dexter's lap and ran around the scene pretending to shoot an invisible bad guy with an invisible gun.  
  
"Boom! Bang! Pow!" He shouted. He returned to Dexter's lap and gave him a face even the devil would be afraid of.  
  
Dexter paused. "Uh..you'll shoot you're eye out, kid!"  
  
_-_-_-_ 


	3. War of The Words

Pointless  
  
By the Hammy Little HamClover! Wee!  
  
12/23/03  
  
Yay! It's the day before the day before Christmas! YayYayYay!! *bounces up and down* I'm really hyper so this chapter might be strange..or not. Well here it is!!!!  
  
_-_-_-_  
  
Chapter 3- The War or The Words  
  
"Hey Dex?" Howdy asked as they scrambled out of the mall.  
  
"What??" Dexter asked.  
  
"How do they know WE killed the Chicky-Chicky?"  
  
Dexter stopped. "I don't know!" he snapped. "but I'm not about to find out the hard way!"  
  
"Fine."  
  
The 2 hams stopped at an ice ream parlor. Howdy's mouth watered.  
  
"I culd sure use an ice cream 'bout now!" he exclaimed, licking his lips. Dexter yanked him away from the parlor.  
  
"we can't stop for anything. Who knows, maybe Charlotte and Phillip (That's Mr. Yoshi, but since they're married now, he's Phillip!) are searching for the culprits right now!"  
  
"How do they know if some MURDERED the little fowl? Wut if they 'jus figgered it fell off the cliff??"  
  
"Oh yea, the Chicky-Chicky will fall off the cliff and kill itself, having a huge bruise, right.?" Dexter said sarcastically.  
  
"Oh what will my Pashmina think if she finds out I'm a serial killer?" Dexter asked himself.  
  
"YOUR Pashmina!? Well I know what will happen! She'll try and hang 'ya with her scarf and skip off with me!" Howdy shouted angrily.  
  
"Oh yea? And how do you know THAT? What if she thinks YOU killed the damn bird!? Eh? Oh wait, it WAS your fault in the first place!"  
  
"No is was not!"  
  
"DENIAL!"  
  
"Nuh-uh!"  
  
"Shut up you buffoon!"  
  
"Oh yea? Try and stop me ya' little four-eyed snot butt!"  
  
"Buck tooth!"  
  
"Weirdo!"  
  
"Bad joker person!"  
  
"GRRRR!!! Well YOU, my friend, I saw YOU sleeping with Sparkle!"  
  
"WHAT!? I'd never do that, even if she was the last girl-ham on EARTH!"  
  
"Haw, typical."  
  
"OF WHAT!?"  
  
"You."  
  
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Make meh,"  
  
Dexter's head shook from anger. "Oh I will, just watch me!" Grabbing a conveniently placed roll of duct-tape, Dexter strapped Howdy to the leg of a nearby bench and then covered his mouth with it.  
  
"Fy fu!" Howdy shouted, his words muffled.  
  
"HA!" Dexter said.  
  
"F'ill get fu, fu mofer fufer!"  
  
Dexter was having too much fun to even think about what Howdy was trying to say.  
  
"What did you say?" He teased.  
  
"MOFER FUFERRR!"  
  
"Say that again?"  
  
"Dexter?"  
  
"MOFER FUFFERRR!"  
  
"Wuh? Did you say my name?"  
  
"Fo.."  
  
"Dexter? Howdy? Is that you guys?"  
  
"Fafmina!"  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Dexter! Howdy!"  
  
Dexter turned around the see Pashmina and Penelope running up. Dexter blushed.  
  
"Oh,"  
  
Pashmina seemed quite glad to see them.  
  
"Where were you guys today? Last time we saw you, you were at the farm. But then you just disappeared, we were all worried!" Pashmina complained.  
  
"Ookwee!" Penelope agreed.  
  
"You were..worried!?"  
  
Pashmina was not amused.  
  
"Of course! Everyone thought you guys were killed!"  
  
"Ookwee!"  
  
"Oh."  
  
"And..what's Howdy doing tied up to that bench???"  
  
"Met me ouffa fere!" Howdy shouted, his voice still muffled.  
  
"Oh, Howdy, well," Dexter blushed. "I tied Howdy up to the bench because this vicious reindeer was about to eat him.uh.alive!"  
  
"Really.?"  
  
Dexter didn't answer, but Pashmina went over to Howdy and took the tape off him. As soon as he was free, he wanted to kill Dexter.  
  
"DEX! YER GONNA GIT THU BUTT-KICKN' OF YER LIFE!" He screamed.  
  
And before Howdy could run over and tear Dexter's limbs off, Pashmina stopped him.  
  
"Ookwee!" Penelope shouted, very upset at what was going on.  
  
"Penelope's right, you guys! Stop being so childish!" Pashmina scolded, and of course, they listened. Pashmina sighed. "Let's just take you 2 back to the Clubhouse so none of us has a heart attack."  
  
Reluctantly, they followed.  
  
_-_-_-_  
  
Send a review! Oh, and try and figure out what "mofer fufer" really is, ha, ha, ha! And yes, Howdy was lying about the whole Sparkle thing, he only said that to piss Dexter off. ^^ 


	4. Say WHA?

Pointless  
  
By HamClover  
  
12/29/03  
  
Ugh. I'm sleepy, I stayed up past 3 at a sleepover last night...zu, zu, zu. Oowah. I'm gonna go to bed..here's the last chapter..have fun... *snores*  
  
_-_-_-_-_  
  
Chapter 4- Say Wha!?  
  
Dexter and Howdy had no idea what was happening when they got to the Clubhouse. Everybody didn't seem the least bit surprised to see them. In fact, it seemed they had been expecting them. A lot of the ham-hams also looked like they were about to crack up laughing too.  
  
"..what's going on??" Dexter asked, uneasy.  
  
Celeste let out a giggle.  
  
"Yeah! Why are ya' guys all jus' givin' us those freaky looks?? It's freakin' meh out!" Howdy whined.  
  
Nobody answered, not even Pashmina or Penelope, who were standing right next to them.  
  
"Can somebody PLEASE tell me what's going on!!!???"  
  
Suddenly, Radar, the rabbit-eared hamster and his black-furred assistant towing the umbrella leapt out. (Don't know who the heck they are?? They're from the GBA game Ham-Ham Heartbreak.)  
  
"Wha!!??"  
  
Radar was cracking up. "Congratulations!" He managed to shout over the laughter.  
  
Dexter and Howdy blinked.  
  
"You've just been another victim of April Fools! The reality show where YOU are the star of a prank!"  
  
Radar's assistant pulled a string, letting out tons of confetti, and ham- ham camera crew members scrambled out of all kinds of nooks and crannies.  
  
"Uh, what are you talking about??" Dexter asked.  
  
That's when the Chicky-Chicky pranced out.  
  
"It- it's ALIVE!" Howdy squealed. "We didn't kill it after all!"  
  
Suddenly, the Chicky-Chicky took off it's head, revealing that it was no chicken, but Elder-Ham in a life-like chicken suit!  
  
"Ha, ha! You should've seen your faces!" Elder-Ham shouted.  
  
"So-so, you mean this was all a-" Dexter stuttered.  
  
"Yes! It was all a joke!" Radar exclaimed. "Like I said, you were another victim of April Fools!"  
  
"Oh shit." Howdy mumbled.  
  
Radar paused for a moment and leaned over to Howdy.  
  
"Hey mister, kids watch this show."  
  
"I can't believe this whole thing was POINTLESS!" Dexter blew. "Why'd you trick us!?"  
  
Pashmina shrugged gingerly. "I dunno, we thought It'd be funny."  
  
Howdy began laughing suddenly. He laughed so much, he began to cry.  
  
"Howdy!" Dexter shouted. "What's so funny about this!?"  
  
"We are so gullible!" Howdy squealed. "I never realized it!!"  
  
Dexter was not amused, but he managed to break a smile.  
  
"I guess it WAS a little humorous, I mean, after all, everybody is going to see me in a Santa suit on TV!" He chuckled.  
  
That's when another Chicky-Chicky walked in. Everyone but Dexter and Howdy gasped.  
  
Dexter wasn't about to be fooled this time. "Oh, I'm not about to fall for this joke again!" He shouted with confidence.  
  
Walking over to the Chicky-Chicky, Howdy said, "Uh, Dex, I wouldn't-"  
  
RIP!  
  
Dexter had tried to pull of the mask, but it was a REAL chicken, a really pissed off chicken!  
  
"BAGOK! BAGOK!" The PO'd Chicky-Chicky shouted. It began to chase Dexter and Howdy around the room.  
  
Radar shrugged.  
  
"That's showbiz!"  
  
_-_-_-_-_  
  
THE END!!!!!!!  
  
Do me a favor and send me a review, will ya? Thanks! 


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